When Boredom Sets In ~ A Day At Mt. Reikakuzan
by the Red Nothing
Summary: Both myself an' the folks at Mount Reikakuzan were bored when I wrote this. What do bandits do when not stealing/flaming? Be bored outta' their minds. *sweatdrop* Includes cameos from Hatashenai characters.(need NOT have read it) What'll happen NEXT?! You


A day in the life of the Mount Reikakuzan bandits. I included some original characters from Hatashenai/Tsuki no Hitokoro because I need to fill the place up with bandits. But you don't hafta have read it (and this is in NO way a romance oO;). If you DID, and you wanna know when the hell this stuff happened, uh, we'll say sometime during Rasukonza/Rasconza's (pronounced exactly the same) first week around. So that's between Chapters 4 and 5 of Hatashenai, ne? Right!   
  
~When Boredom Sets In~  
  
Two bandits sat in the tavern of Mount Reikakuzan. Yes it had a tavern. The place is huge -didn't you pay attention to the anime/manga backgrounds? And there were more than two bandits. But we're listening in on just the two's conversation, OK? *ahem* Anyway, they were sitting in a tavern. The dark-haired one suddenly spoke to his partner over a bowl of sake.  
  
"You know Genrou, have ya ever noticed how everything fer you 's bad pun?"  
  
Genrou raised an eyebrow. "No, actually. Yer sloshed, ain'tcha Kouji?" Kouji ignored him.   
  
"I mean yer name is a bad pun fer 'help' that we always use an yer dancing crab joke is awful, an' even yer first attack wit' th' paper wolves -ya know how ya say that?"  
  
"No," said Genrou simply, in a tone of voice that made it clear he didn't really care at all.  
  
"Ya say," Kouji began in a voice that made it clear he really didn't care at all that Genrou really didn't care at all. "Ya'd say 'Ookami no kami!' Haw! Ain't that great!?"  
  
"Not really," Genrou growled. There was a longish pause. Tama-neko ran across the table. You tend to wonder where the poor cat is in these post-OAV fics. Well, I do anyway. (although I did read a spiffy one he played a nice big role in!) So Tama ran across the table, right into Huamyoka's food, the one and only bandit who cared at all about sanitation crap. Aside from him, no one seemed to notice.  
  
Pause.  
  
"Where's th' monk?" Kouji asked in a slur. Chichiri had mysteriously dropped by the day before yesterday, their second odd guest that week. Genrou suspected that that was where the cat came from. Genrou sighed. "Out fer his fourth consec'tuve walk t'day..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chichiri was about fifty miles away from the mountain, hiding in a tree.   
  
"Must...escape...insanity na no da!" He managed to breathe out. He'd just staaaaay there until dusk....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kouji cocked his head, a motion that caused it to nearly slam into the table. Genrou propped him back up. "Ain't it only six in th' mornin? An' he's already had six walks?"  
  
"Aniki," Genrou said as he patted Kouji on the back -hard-, using the name he'd been told to call the bandit by when they had been young. "Ain't it only six in th' mornin? An' HOW many drinks 'ave ya had?"  
  
"Chinpasu," Kouji murmured. Which literally translates as "hairdressing". Go figure.  
  
Pause.  
  
"An how's th' woman?" Kouji asked dumbly. The only woman there was Rasukonza, someone who'd dropped in to say "hi" and stab people as a friendly little gesture roughly a week ago. Genrou'd been provoked, and beaten the absolute SHIT out of her -three-day coma.   
  
Of course, his coma from the fight lasted for five days, and his arm still hurt but *cough cough cough*. Oh well, he'd won regardless.   
  
Except since she was a GIRL, and since he had this pride-thing, he'd let her stay. She was popular enough with the rest of the bandits -Genrou snorted. They were treating her like a chum and not a woman.  
  
Waitasec *sweatdrop* That is NOT the kind of thing a good guy is supposed to say! Oo;  
  
"Che, how should I know?" Genrou asked with an overly-indifferent air about him. Kouji sweatdropped, his soberness slowly returning. "Er, 'cause yer th' Boss? An' yer s'possed t'know where everyone is...?"  
  
"Boss sir," came a pretty voice. No, it was NOT Rasukonza - "pretty" hardly described her. "Psychotic" on the other hand....  
  
"What?" Genrou shot at Tsuka, the bandit that never ceased to disturb him -he had been madly in love (if you can call it that Oo;) with the last emperor and Suzaku no Shichiseishi Hotohori, yet was HARDLY a girly-boy; The man could fight with the best of him.  
  
Not counting the Great Genrou-sama, of course.  
  
"I was chattin' with 'er this mornin, me 'n Hasongi, an' she said she was goin' t see how well daruma dolls serve as pincushions, an' headed off toward th' prison an-"  
  
Genrou's expression immediately changed from passive and bored to that of a six-year-old pyromaniac who has heard about that magical potion we call 'gasoline' for the very first time.  
  
"WHOOOHOOOOO!! Kouji, this'll be good!" He exclaimed happily, gripping his best friend and second-in-command by the wrist and hauling him off toward the 'dungeon'. "C'mon c'mon c'mon!!!"  
  
Tsuka stared blankly at the dustcloud that had once been the Phantasm Wolf and the Young Victor. Stare. Blink. Stare. Blink blink.  
  
"Miao?" Tama-neko supplied.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rasukonza no Tora was having FUN.  
  
Eiken no Hentai was NOT.  
  
*poik*  
  
"Ouchies!"  
  
*prick*  
  
"Pain!"  
  
The corners of Rasukonza's fine lips twitched in a faint, mischievous grin. Eiken swallowed.   
  
*SLICE!*  
  
"HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!"  
  
"Kouji, Hibana-chan, whatcha want?" She asked without looking up or turning around. Genrou SD'd.  
  
"GENROU!! GEN-ROU!! GE-N-RO-U!! Get it RIGHT onna!" Rasukonza sighed as she wiped the slightly soiled blade on her slacks. "When ya learn my name, I'll learn yours...." She flipped the knife back into the air deftly with a twirl of two fingers; It came plummeting down, blade-first, so quickly and steadily you'd have thought the tip was weighted.  
  
*sht!*  
  
Right back into its sheath, hanging from her chest. Everyone was used to this kind of 'show-offy' behavior by now. Though it was always, always, ALWAYS annoying ; With a bored air, she carefully picked out another one.  
  
*doink*  
  
"Ooh!"  
  
*poik*  
  
"Ouchies!"  
  
*prick*   
  
"Pain!"  
  
"So Kouji," she said with that same calm, almost dull tone to her voice. "What didja come down here for?"   
  
*STAB!*  
  
"AAAAAAA SWEET MOTHER!!!"  
  
Kouji sweatdropped. "Er, dontcha think ya've had enough, Rasukonza...?" He asked slowly.   
  
"I'm having fun," she replied in a very bored voice over Eiken's terrified whimpers. Kouji sweatdropped. Genrou grinned.  
  
"Aw, c'mon Kouj! She's havin' fun!! Let 'er keep it up!!" He crowed. Kouji's sweatdrop quadrupled in size.   
  
"You REALLY don' like 'im, do ya Genrou?" Genrou's grin widened. "Hate 'is rotten a-"  
  
"Feh," Rasukonza commented dryly. She kicked Eiken in the the side with her boot. He didn't budge. "  
  
Yawning a "later" to Kouji and Genrou, she dashed up the stairs to... Only Suzaku knows.  
  
"Psycho-chick," Genrou muttered darkly.  
  
"Hibana-chan," Kouji said, grinning so hard you could hear it.  
  
*BOP!!*  
  
  
...and so began a very... INTERESTING day...  
  
  
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Hibana-chan = Essentially, "Sparky". Buahahaha.  
  
Weirdness! :-P (I forgot; In the chapter of Hatashenai this would hafta take place in, Chichiri's around ^^;)Yup, this'll be all-out humor fic, just weirdness. What WILL happen next?! The readers will decide!! (that way I don't hafta be responsible ^^; )  
  
Here are our choices n desu :  
  
1) We find Tsuka (The Hotohori-chasing bandit ^^) writing elaborate love poetry. (*coughitsuckscough*)  
  
2) Pretty much everyone gets drunk Oo;  
  
3) Huamyoka is the only bandit with medical training, BTW. He was "Hwah-Miroka" in Hatashenai, the "Chinese" version. Now, if Tama can't discern one doctor from the next, and Huamyoka doesn't like cats...  
  
4) What about Hasongi? What ABOUT Hasongi?! Uhm, he's a kid...ish. Fifteen no da. This could (will!) be amusing, especially if you know about what Genrou was like in Genrou Den...  
  
5) I'd really hate to drag poor Chichiri-san into this mess...  
  
6) One word, four syllables: Ka-ree-oh-kee. (Oo;;;;)  
  
Oi, boredom. Anyway, I'm enjoying giving the Mt. Reikakuzan bandits personalities. I was thinking about it when I read/watched FY. I mean, I looked at all of the bandits and thought it'd be fun to give them personalities :) If you look at 'em, you may notice some things (like in the manga, one has a scar over his left eye!).   
  
Enough rambling. Ja!  



End file.
